we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
