Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
