you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
