I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
