32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Randomize
