Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
