Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
