he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
