am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
