It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
