Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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