My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
