Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
