Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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