a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Randomize
