why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
