For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
