I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
