Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
