yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
