let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
