That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize