well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
