she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The air taste purple.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
