ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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