Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
