my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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