I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
