I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
