Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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