Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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