You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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