She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
