Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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