At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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