Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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