I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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