dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
