You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
