Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm both gender and math confused
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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