The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
