I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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