the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
