why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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