I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
