We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
