Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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