ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
