at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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