last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
