did you get engaged???
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
