if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize