hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
