...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
