why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
