Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
