what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
