whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
