Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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