I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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