Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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