all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
