well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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