I CAN MOONWALK!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
