That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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