I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
