What did we do last night that was yellow?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize