He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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