Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
