I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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