that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
