he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
