She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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