just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
sex in a hospital.. check
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
